One of the first things that you need to develop before you try to make any progress, is Self-Belief. It’s also known as Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem.
Why? Because achieving balance in your life, finding your passion, knowing your goals, and developing discipline requires a certain amount of belief in your own abilities.
If you don’t THINK you can do it, you won’t.
If you don’t BELIEVE you are good at anything, you won’t find your true passion.
If you THINK you are a failure at everything you try to do, you won’t have any goals.
There is no balance without self belief. Believe in yourself and your ability to do anything you want to do.
Knowing how to reach a deeper level of self belief, developing and maintaining it for the long haul, is going to take some work on your part. If you want to change your life, if you are to the point where you are saying, “something’s gotta give, I need to figure out where I’m going, what I’m doing with my life”, then you need to be willing to put forth the effort.
I think you’re there, or you wouldn’t be here.
I am a big believer in the ability to change your own life by changing your thoughts. Your thoughts become your actions and your actions turn into habits. Your thoughts are the most powerful weapon you have in your arsenal to change your life.
That is worth repeating, and remembering. Your thoughts are the most powerful weapon you have in your arsenal to change your life.
Regardless of how well developed your self belief is, there are habits that you will want to include in your arsenal. Habits are created by repeating the same act over and over.
Beginning today, right now, you need to know that you were created for a purpose.
You are unique.
There is no one else like you. Believe that. Don’t just read it and think that it’s a worn out saying. It’s the truth, and you need to start believing it. Thinking it.
And above all else, you are loved. Even if you don’t love yourself, you are still loved.
You might think to yourself.. “but I do love myself, of course I do!”. mmhhmm…
Then why do you end up facing roadblock after roadblock when you try to do something? Why do you set unreachable goals for yourself, and then feel like a failure when you don’t finish something? Mental roadblocks set in place so you can prove to yourself that you don’t deserve to be happy. Self sabotage.
Not having enough confidence to do something that you dream of doing, not feeling important enough, lacking the self esteem to start, is rooted in the fact that you do not love yourself enough to believe in yourself.
The first habit you want to develop in your quest for self belief, is telling yourself, that you love you. Yep… you need to be comfortable with telling yourself, “I love you”. Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say the words out loud. You might be doing it behind a locked door and whispering it, but that’s okay, it’s a start. Because by the time you are done developing good habits, you might be saying it out loud in a room full of people when you see your reflection in a mirror somewhere. Confidence! Self Belief!
Do this for a week, increase how often you say it to yourself. Every time you pass by a mirror, look at YOU. If you love yourself, shouldn’t you treat yourself the same way you treat others that you love? Caring for them, wanting them to be happy. Making sacrifices to help them accomplish their goals.
Love Yourself ~ Forgive Yourself ~ Embrace Your Uniqueness
A huge part of loving yourself is Forgiveness
You need to get to a place where you can forgive yourself for things that you feel guilty about. That guilt will hold you back from your true potential. You live in a state of self denial because you feel you don’t deserve it. Whatever “it” is, you subconsciously push it away.
You DO deserve “it”, you simply have not arrived to the place where you can accept the blessings that are waiting for you. Guilt will keep you from loving yourself.
Self forgiveness means accepting what has happened, saying I’m sorry, and realizing that you need to move on in order to live a full life. It’s not easy, it means realizing that you are not responsible for another person’s happiness.
Accept that other people in your life need to accept responsibility for their own reactions to situations, their own feelings. You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness, and if you are living your life based on that, you will never find a place of peace and self forgiveness.
You need to let go of the notion that you have the power to create happiness in other people’s lives. Happiness is an inside job! They might be happy because you are doing what they expect, and when that expectation is taken away, they are unhappy. That is a problem with their self belief, they are dependent on others for their own happiness. It is not your job to make people happy, so stop feeling guilty if they are unhappy because you decided to do something for yourself.
It’s not selfishness. Selfishness, is the other person expecting you to live according to their wishes, to make them happy. I’m not telling you to jump ship and join a circus, leaving friends and family behind, simply because you dream of being a tightrope walker. No. It’s wonderful to be able to do things for people that bring them happiness, but you shouldn’t be expected to give up what makes you happy, to please someone else full-time!
If you say no to taking some time for yourself, to develop interests you have, to grow inside, then you are affecting your happiness. And if someone else expects you to say no to taking time for YOU, then THEY are the ones who should be feeling guilty.
Loving yourself and removing the guilt associated with finding your own happiness means forgiving yourself. Even though you have nothing to feel guilty about, you have taken it upon yourself to accept this emotion and let it control your life. It creates mental roadblocks so you have an excuse to continue making others happy so you don’t feel guilty.
Remember Your First Step…
Practice saying “I love you”. To YOU.
Those exact words. Look yourself in the eye, in a mirror, and say, “I love you”. Do it every morning when you are getting ready for your day. Say it more than once. Say it with meaning. You need to realize that loving yourself, accepting yourself, just the way you are, is the first step to taking back your life.
Spend some time absorbing the idea that it’s okay to be happy, even if someone else isn’t. You need to love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy.
During your day, think about the things that bring a smile to your face, bring peace to your mind. Take the time to write down a few things that you could lose track of time and space doing. The kinds of things, that while you’re doing them, you are totally immersed and happy. That is a passion!
Then take the time to do one of those things. The happier you are, the more you can freely give of yourself. The resentment towards others begins to dissolve, you are no longer blaming them for your misery and self loathing. You truly only have yourself to blame, because you have been allowing others to control your emotions. That stops today, now.
Release the guilt of not being able to please everyone all of the time. Accept that you are allowed to do things that make you totally happy, even if it means saying no to someone you love when they want the time that you have set aside for YOU.
Self belief, self confidence, self esteem, begins with loving yourself. If you believe that loving someone else includes doing things that bring them happiness, then why doesn’t the same thing apply to YOU?
Love yourself enough to take care of your inner happiness.
The next step on your road to increasing Self Belief is Gratitude. In the next post, I will show you how to start a Gratitude Journal and how it will change your perception of what you have been blessed with! Gratitude is an Attitude.